Christmas parties can really do a number on you, especially when there’s an open bar. You can be the life of the party and the talk of the town, for better or for worse. It’s all fun and games until you’re swerving your way home, hoping to get there safely.
I’ve heard all sorts of tips and tricks to avoid this scenario:
Set a drink limit, they say.
Call for a ride, I’ll come get you.
Alternate your alcoholic beverages with water.
There’s just one little problem with these “solutions.” They all require me to think clearly and make reasoned decisions once I’m already drinking. I did have a plan. I had a limit of two drinks. I did not adhere to my own limit, and I lost count of how many beverages I actually had.
I was the last one to leave the Christmas party. I shut the place down. I could’ve called my husband for a ride, but it was late and I didn’t want to inconvenience him. He would’ve been very disappointed in my inability to adhere to my two-drink limit. I decided in that moment not to call him.
I’m a lawyer, a trained professional. We have professional and ethical duties to consider in all our decisions. We have to take continuing education courses, some of which focus on substance abuse. Lawyers are heavy drinkers, that’s no surprise. But are lawyers responsible drinkers? I was not.
I’m also a wife, and hopefully, one day, a mother. My husband is not a drinker. As I woke up the morning after my Christmas party, feeling quite ill, I wondered how upset my husband would be. He knew where I had been. He knew there would be an open bar. He knew I should not have driven home.
Thinking back six months ago, there were a lot of “what if” scenarios driving my decision to quit drinking. What if I had gotten in an accident? What if I had gotten arrested? What would I do if I lost my license to practice law? The most crushing and realistic question at the time was, “what if my husband leaves me because of my drinking?”
All this is too much of a risk, I decided. If I can’t drink responsibly, I just won’t drink at all. That was December 9, 2016. I wasn’t sure at the time whether it would be a permanent decision, but I knew something needed to change. On February 25, 2017, my decision became a permanent one. Our family lost a sweet little girl in a drunk driving accident. Samantha was six years old. We’ve spent months grieving her loss, and we still cannot process the pain and unfairness of losing her in such a way.
Drinking and driving is a choice. Make better choices. Don’t drink and drive.
tperrynola 
This is such a brave post. You are an amazing person, Teresa King, and you should be told more often. Love you!
I’m sincerely sorry to learn of your daughter’s passing. I can’t imagine the pain you must be processing.
Your sobriety will be a powerful ally in a time when we need our innermost strength.
Sending love and sober hugs from New Zealand 💙🙏🏼🇳🇿🌏
For clarity purposes, she was not my daughter. Her parents are my husband’s cousins.
I love the feelings you put into your writing. Love you kid. I always knew you were going to be someone that would make a difference in the world.
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